This was part of a series of six poems I wrote for my friend Jaq’s wedding. It’s about love and zombies.
Wedding Vows of a Zombie Slayer
I promise to love you truly, until the zombies come
At that point I cannot promise anything
But I will try to get you to the shopping mall alive.
And there will always be gas in your chain-saw
Our love forever chambered in the shotgun of my heart
And together, we will aim for the head.
My life will be your life, my house your house
And it will always be stockpiled with canned goods.
Canned goods of my love.
And I will never run from you
Unless you get bitten, in which case,
well, baby, all bets are off.
For what separates us from the sentient undead is our ability to love unconditionally
And also to fly a helicopter.
So with this ring, this plastique, this baseball bat, and that samurai sword I thee wed.
Let’s do this thing.