Burnham Market


I went to Burnham Market this weekend.  I didn’t like it.

Burnham Market: Norfolk’s Loveliest Village*

*According to Itself

In Burnham Market,

Disapproval wears a white wooly sweater

Glares down from his Land Rover

On the way to antiquing

with his orange second wife.

And Disdain is out with her two dogs

Rescued Greyhounds,

of course.

Six black eyes glare, cold as the pockmarked

flint exteriors of Holt,

and country walls

that line the place

Hadrian’s wall against the B-roads

Animosity stacks shelves

with locally sourced free range produce

and beer infused organic chutney

all tastefully overpriced.

her nose higher than the wooden beams

of her Grade II listed country market.

Ambivelance, who runs the BP garage

and wishes we were anywhere else,

Is only to happy to point us back to the A47.

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