From the Mind of Poet Tim Key

British Poet Tim Key, who is totally famous from such things as television, has a website with his poems on it.  They are funny poems, and you should check him out.

Here’s one that made me titter like a girl.

16. Brainteaser<!– –>

Nicholas buys 10 (ten) apples for 20 pounds (two pounds an apple) and kicks himself. With his change (he started off with £35 plus a few gift vouchers etc and about half a kilo of coins, mainly quids and fifties) he gives his friend Luther enough cash to go to a strip club and have two private dances; one with Miracle (Band-5, going all the way) and one with Margaret (Band-2, doing her best but looking unconvinced throughout). Luther has enough left over to get a half of San Miguel and a Snickers and a further £65 which he already had in a special bit of his wallet. Possibly relevant is the fact that the previous month he had got a bonus from work of over £80 but under £300 for what Mr. Kahn called “an improvement in attitude”. Luther is mugged by Stuart Wallace on his way home and Stuart Wallace puts half of what he made into the bank. The other £16k he keeps. Owing to guilt he then tracks down Luther and, again at knifepoint, he returns £100 and forces him to accept flowers. During the whole thing the mayor of the town watches Walt Disney’s Aladdin and amends a policy. So…
How much money?

Give it up, ladies and gentlemen, for Mr. Tim Key.

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Filed under Poemetry

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