Ode to a Hot Midget Chick I saw at the beer store


This is a love poem to a hot midget I saw at the beer store.  It touches you in a way that makes you want to tell an adult.

Oh glorious pygmy, Bantam beauty, Diminutive De Milo
I caught a glimpse of you in the beer store, your Busch Light
All sunglasses and small sweet smiles
I never thought I could love a munchkin
Till your tight, tiny body crossed my mind
Racing eyes, pint-sized thighs,
Well aren’t you Happy Meal size?
Eying up your bubble butt
Level with the bike rack
Short stack heart attack
Sized up my prospects and  I’ve got half a chance
To get and stay in your wee little pants
Cause for you, I could be twice the man you’re used too,
And all your clothes would be half off.
Lithe Lilliputian, listen
Think of what you’re missing
I’m not handsome, but face it
You’re not going to pull Brad Pitt
And I’ll go to any heights,
love your kin and fight your fights
and you can keep me on a short leash
Cause you’re not like the other midgets
Homely and wholesome
You’re a dirty dwarfette
Let’s make a home, gnome
We’ll retire to the shire, I’ll drive a mini
You be short and I’ll get skinny
My svelte short haired homunculi
I’ll be half a head ahead
But never halfhearted
I promise you we won’t be parted
Let me be your man
And you and I can begin
Our short affair
I’ll reach down and pat your hair
And you reach up and punch me in the junk
Who’d have thunk
That a love between midget and man
could be so good.
Can’t you see, you’re giving me
a little wood.



Filed under Poemetry

2 responses to “Ode to a Hot Midget Chick I saw at the beer store

  1. humanbot

    Fucking hilarious, love it.

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